Ethan Parker

It’s a test of character. Believe it. Tonight my ward had an organizational meeting where 50 of us get together and assign callings to everyone in the ward. We come fasting to try and be spiritually in-tune.

So after a 2-hour meeting that ends at 9pm a person can get pretty hungry and impatient. I told the place to bring pizza 10 min before our meeting ended. 8:50 came around and no pizza. 8:58 came around and I called, they told me the driver already left and it should be there soon. The place is like 200 yards away so I wasn’t worried. When it got to be 9:05 and hungry angry people were leaving I was a little torqued. I called back and told the guy to call the driver. I could have been nicer So delivery man shows up 25 mins late and we finally get to eat. I don’t know how much my bishopric member tipped him but the delivery guy had to have felt dumb. My bishop was pretty irritated, too and wants to escalate it to a regional manager level which I think is good, if I managed something like that I would want to know if a group of 50 people had a negative opinion about my pizza.

There is a Utah-famous story about senate majority leader Curt Bramble and how he belittled a pizza girl and was a total jerk about it. Here’s a link to the pizza girl’s blog who wrote about it. Crazy story!

A while back my older brother did an MMA (mixed martial arts) fight. He was living in Tennessee at the time and his friends filmed it for him. Ammon wins with a guillotine choke.

I like sushi. My first real sushi was in Santa Barbara, CA on my mission provided by a very cool member last name Sarabia. I was pretty skeptical especially because cartoons usually think raw fish is really gross. However, with enough soy and wasabi you can eat just about anything!

I’m still in AZ right now and today I went with the three owners of Secure Source (2 are brothers in law) to a place called Tomo near Phoenix, AZ. Best sushi I’ve had in my life to this point. Wow. I used to think the fancy sushi rolls were overrated and it was all about a simple piece of fish and maybe some avocado in there. I stand before you today as a convert of way awesome sushi with fried crud and lots of other goodness on there!

Yup. That’s life. Why do we only say this when something bad happens? Why not say it when we have an other-wordly success? “Yup, that’s life” As in “WHOA! Life is amazing and I love how we receive wonderful things when we least expect it!”

Last April I was chasing this girl I had known for about a year and a half. I had to know if she was really interested so I asked point blank. She said she was and so I let her know how I feel in some pretty creative ways. One of which was buying a domain and posting a rap I made for her on it. Ha ha. It was totally fun to make and I even recruited one of my musical genius friends to make the beat with me on his synth. Well my crazy attempt at impressing a girl worked only to make her boy toy at the time jealous and uncomfortable and maybe scare her off a little. Can’t say I didn’t try! Good times. I don’t regret it at all. I say if some super amazing girl is going to say she’s interested in me then she better prepare for an onslaught of “Hi, I’m Ethan, I use my talents to impress girls”.

I’m writing this on Aug 9 even though I’m scheduling it to be published 2 weeks later. I feel a little less pressure writing that way. It’s weird blogging about dating when I’m taking girls out currently and all but whatever, mostly family reads this stuff anyway. If the girls I’m giving attention to find and read this blog then hey, I guess they’re that much more informed.

This has for-sure been the craziest summer of my life. For one, I’ve never dated someone as amazing as the ‘cowgirl’ I blogged about a while back. Two, Parker Planners has been the adventure of a lifetime (in the process of or actually selling to: Deseret Book, Walgreens, and Walmart) and I’m still learning so much. And three, I went on my first cruise, first trip to San Diego, and drove my first late-model BMW probably 3,000 miles or so. Heck yes, friends! I love life!

This post is intended to help with matters of the heart. Nothing like dating to land smack dab in the middle of said territory. Here we go: I’m ancient by mormon singledom terms (25 oh please no!) and just barely an adult by any other standard. Most people think I should be focused on making a million bucks (yes, don’t worry I am) rather than ultra-laser-beam dedicated to finding a wife. Yes, not a girlfriend, but a wife. Scary thought? Yes, the pressure is on in this place called Provo. It’s not about finding someone you enjoy hiking and jamming music with, oh no. It’s marriage time and if you’re past a certain age and not married there’s pretty much something wrong with you.

I don’t buy it. I’m all about people falling in love and taking the next step in faith, but just because you’re at “x” point in your life with not wife doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In my life there have been girls that wanted to move forward when I didn’t and girls that chose not to be with this amazing studdedly-muffin-supreme when they had the chance. That’s just dandy says I. A wise friend of mine told me “some will, some won’t, some wait, so what? NEXT”. Yes, this is about dating. True that. Some will (but you may not want to) some won’t (yup) some wait (I need time, blah blah blah) so what!? Next. Yup indeed. Right now I’m at the NEXT phase.

2010 summer love was way better than last summer so that’s cool. It was something absolutely amazing that came along when I least expected it. After General Conference I had my dad give me a priesthood blessing, which I hadn’t asked for in a long time. In that blessing I felt like the girl I was chasing (rap video one) was nothing to worry about and God had something great in store for me. I really had faith in that.

Turns out only two weeks later I met a girl who fit that description pretty well. It was funny, we were both in disbelief about how much we had in common. So much so that her parents asked “so, what’s it like dating yourself?” We had a blast. Went to AZ on a road trip, graduated college together, played tennis, rode her horses, went country dancing, fixed things, did yard work, spoke Spanish, rocked out on guitar, etc. Just when I thought dating was a trivial pursuit I was reminded that you never know when you’ll meet someone you just fall for immediately. It can and does happen when you least expect it.

So, no, there’s no engagement story or happily ever-marriaged-after story but hey, it’s all good. I’m pretty darn young and what’s the rush? Pretty much we broke up half way through the summer and she’s off at one of the nation’s best law schools back east. It wasn’t right at the time, I think we both felt that. As much as we wanted to take the next step in life things just weren’t really falling into place. I look at it as a great growing experience, we helped each other laugh and learned a lot. I feel much better prepared for future lady friends.

My grandpa Parker passed away in 1997. He fought in WWII in a submarine as a 17 yr old. He rebuilt lots of cars with my dad and owned one of 1500 Rambler Rebels (a very light and powerful car from the late 1950’s). I always liked coming down to Hurricane to visit he and grandma. They were always so kind and loving. Grandma would stuff you full of food and grandpa would direct you to the candy dish or read to you any time. 

I’ve visited this place many many times but never met the neigbors until two days ago. Al next door has been cutting my grandma’s grass since 1997 when grandpa passed away. I had no idea someone was taking such care to help one of my family members. I was blessed with the opportunity to mow Al’s lawn Monday he is recovering from heart surgery. He said that my grandma is a very neat person. He’s right. The biggest surprise however was meeting Al’s wife. When I met her she said “you’re Ray’s grandson, it’s the eyebrows, I can tell”. Then she said we had beautiful eyes. I thought that was funny, but hey when you got, you got it . Sonya’s career was in nursing and she was the first on the scene when grandpa fell off the ladder. She tried to revive him but said he was gone before he got into the ambulence. 

What a neat experience to get to know my own family better through close friends of theirs. I could/would/should really be back in Provo right now being responsible but I’d give up lots of money to hear more 1st hand accounts about my grandfather. When we meet people like that it’s not by chance. We need to hold onto and record those events. 

This is a different BMW than normal, it’s my brother’s 2005 545i. It’s faster and cooler than the 325i but alas, this car had taken some abuse before we got it so it has issues. Last week Ammon had just started a trip up to Provo so we could hike Mt. Timp before our family gathering and his car threw a rod on the way up. Bummer deal. Right now we’re both in Hurricane, UT at my grandma’s house installing a new motor. The new engine arrived today.

I just got back from playing some guitar hero with Ammon and his friend Terrin and I’m exhausted! Ammon and I worked on that car all day. It’s tricky business because he bought a motor out of a 745i and we’re putting it in a 545i. It’s the same 4.4L DOHC V8 but because it’s out of a different car and used to be attached to an automatic transmission there are some subtle differences that have made the swap more colorful. We managed to get the engine and tranny mated and hanging from an engine hoist. We’ll see what tomorrow brings! Never worked on a German car before, kinda weird. They love to use torx head bolts.

Here’s Ammon working away while it was just an engine.

(bandaged) thumbs up! Motor and transmission together!

Now It’s heading toward the car

Ammon and the car, preparing for installation of the engine

This is tougher than it looks. Very easy to smash something important, and quite the balancing act getting 300lbs of pure power into a BMW 5-series.

We did it! Got the thing in the car. Now we have to install the A/C compressor with no belt tensioner. Not fun for those who have ever done a fan belt and had the luxury of a spring you compress to install the belt. We had to losen the bolts to the compressor and manually turn the engine with a ratchet to ease the belt into place.

This weekend has been amazing! So Thursday we loaded up the trucks, B-mer and Vibe and headed for the hills just outside Hurricane, UT. It’s pronounced “Her-ih-cun” said really fast if you’re from around here. We went to a place I’ve been many times with my dad and brothers to shoot guns and what not when I was a kid. My grandma has lived down here since the early 80’s and many a vacation day has been spent exploring southern Utah’s red rocks.

This trip we had my dad’s go-kart with us which was perfectly suited to the terrain. Way fun, and the best part is you can take a passenger along for the ride, too; this time it was a niece or nephew saying “go crazy!” or ” no jumps this time”. We also shot some guns and oddly enough there were hundreds of little tiny frogs all over the ground to entertain everyone.

Enjoy the documentation:

We went to a demolition derby Saturday night and it was they best one I’ve been to! Oh man you wouldn’t believe it! Normally they do cars, old weird cars with no traction and there’s a few bumps, but nothing spectacular. Ever seen demo-derby trucks!?! Yup, they got ‘em at the Washington County Fair! Oh yeah. We saw one get nailed from the side and flip over. So sweet.

Enjoy this demolition derby worker:

Discovery of the day: rearrange St. George and you get George Street! 

I’m here right now with all my immediate family! There are 8 original Parkers, 3 spouses, and 9.7 grandkids. We are having such a blast. My neice Sienna who is 9 is an amazing dancer, if she goes to BYU she’s cougarette material all the way. I beat box and she grooves to it

We all got here tonight and we’re all staying at this sweet house. It was built in 1870 but has been added onto and rennovated since then. Lotsa bedrooms, pool, hot tub, tennis court, wifi, flatscreen tv and dvd player- what else do you need?! This place is awesome and no better people to be here with! Really looking forward to these next few days!

Sometimes when rappers want to see whose rhymes are superlative, they “battle”. It’s non-violent.

Sometimes when people like something, they call it “sick” to describe how much it uplifts them. That’s how I’d describe this video.

Yesterday I was washing my car outside when a guy came out of my complex and started walking by. I didn’t recognize him so I asked what his name was, he said “Utkarsh”. It’s pronounced “oot-karsh”. He’s 19 and from India going to BYU. He’s not LDS but lives our standards. I took him to the store to look for a stereo cable then he made some rockin’ Indian food and shared. It was fun, I also learned that there is a cool Indian food store in Provo called “Bollywood Market”. Did you know that people from India call their cousins ‘brothers’ in many cases? Yup.

Other cultures are so cool!

San Diego is a fun place! I came here with sister, brother-in-law, nieces and brother! It’s way awesome! Our first night here we went to a sweet Greek restaurant, the lady said my two nieces had Greek names. Zoe and Ellie. Wow, some very good Greek grub and Greek people workin there 2 boot.

Today we Sea-worlded it up! Shamu’s show was called “Believe” and now we have to believe in dreams. We sat in the “soaked” zone but didn’t feel a drop. At the dolphin show we sat on the front row and got d-r-e-n-c-h-ed from head to toe, it was awesome. They also had two black villian whales to go along with the show. Very impressive and Cir-du-soliel like. Then we saw the pet show- way good. Makes me actually want to get a dog some day. Then was the seal show. It was amazing. It was called “Sea Lions Tonite” and it actually made fun of the other shows! I was so impressed that Sea world could actually poke fun of itself like that. Definite comic relief.

Pizza and hot tubbing to round out the night. Very nice vacation day.

Eric, my dad, and I went to Miller Sports park in near Tooele Saturday for a belated birthday present and for the funs of it. They had some neat cars around so here’s a couple pics. We also raced their go karts which was really fun. They are outdoor on a road track and probably go like 40mph which is pretty fast 4 inches above the ground.

Provo is crazy bumpin’ thug-ville on the 4th of July! It rocks. There are probably 20,000 people hanging out on University Avenue. Some are part of super hard core biker gangs, some are camping out with their families, some are walking around in disbelief that Provo could be so hip and up late! I was in the later category.

One of the coolest things about it is that they park all the floats together in a big lot next to BYU so you can walk around at midnight and see them all on your own time! No baking in the sun while they go by at 3mph. Here’s Abe.

Happy B-day USA

Eric got contacts recently, too. The first few hours are the worst! His face helps us understand this.

I know, more about the car, blah blah. You must understand the effect this auto has had on my life recently. I had my first ——-windows-and-top-down with amazing blonde hotty while driving uninsured and unregistered and got pulled over by the cops but got off scott free——– experience in it. It accelerates at freeway speeds like most cars do off the line. Etc.

So here’s my friend Nate in the 325i. When he bought his new car he let me take it for a burn on some mountain roads so I let him do the same. It rocked. Nate watches the British car show Top Gear all the time so it was appropriate to let him ride a horse from Bavaria, Germany. The car finally went back to my parents last week. Alack.

What did you do for your dad?

This father’s day Eric and I went up to our parent’s house. Eric went back to Provo later that night and I stayed because I had a little business to do in that part of the woods. It’s funny but adults really don’t get many opportunities to spend time with just they and their parents. When you’re all grown up and gone you usually see your folks at family gatherings when everyone else is there or you’re with your spouse. It’s neat to get to know them better as people and not just givers of meals and wheels.

I have a great dad. Many of my classmates at BYU have dads that are VP’s at Frito Lay, Presidents of this, or CFOs of that. Many of my classmates at BYU also very unfortunately don’t really know their dads or don’t have the best relationship. There are exceptions, yes, but I’m grateful that we always came first. My dad said that he never felt like he fit in all that well with the officers in the Air Force because they would golf and go to the bar in their free time where he always wanted to camp, shoot, and/or ride motorcycles and spend time with his kids. I never questioned whether my dad loved us as kids, we were really lucky.

Ya’ll gotta understand that sometimes a man gotta camp. Last weekend was that time. The annual man camp was at hand and man oh man was it nice. I got to shoot assault rifles, ride a dirt bike, blast through mud puddles in an off-road go cart, play with fire, tell man stories, sing by the campfire, talk business, and fix a flat tire on a big 4×4 truck. Woof! These are things that every man in America dreams of.

I also got to be with my two brothers at the same time which doesn’t happen all that often. Love those guys.

Glasses. Some people have them, other’s want them. I’m the latter. Once upon a hike I left a pair of really nice titanium framed glasses at the top of Y mountain. It was cathartic, true, but a sort of expensive mistake. I really liked those frames! The lenses were scratched up even before the hike but man I would have gone back in the middle of the night with a keychain LED light looking for them if I knew Ray-Ban stopped making the frames. They were light and invisible on your face. Alas. A lass?

Gone glasses story # 2: last Saturday I put my backup glasses on top of the trunk of my car. Then I drove away. Smart. At least this pair of glasses is from like 2002; my first pair ever. I don’t feel so ashamed losing these.

New glasses time: yes indeed. Just bought some more and with an updated prescription to boot. I’m excited for early morning reading and late night driving without the hassle of contacts!

Maybe I should have obtained eye-wear like this guy:

Big Manly Camping trip starts tomorrow!!

Today my best good buddy Nate and I went for a drive up the canyon so he could try out the B-mer. He let me drive his car up there when he first bought it so it was an exchange, an unspoken bond of car-trying-outing.

So on the way up this sweet windy road we see this guy walking his longboard up the hill with his thumb stuck out. Nate observed that he may want a ride and was correct! We gave dude man a ride and he thanked us. He said normally people in nice cars don’t stop. When I have a nice car, I’ll stop for die-hard youtube longboarder man any day. He was an asipiring BYU student and yes, that’s a suit he’s got on. He had a piece of PVC with a camera taped on it to document.