I’ve never named one of my vehicles. I think it’s weird. You name people, pets, and ships, but not so much cars and motorcycles. So for the sake of making a facebook profile for my car so we could be in an ‘open relationship’, at least temporarily for hilarity’s sake, I had to choose a name that had solely alphabetic characters. I chose “Princess Beemer VonBeemersen”. It’s German, it’s lovely. Ever since I saw Enchanted I pretty much wanted to marry Amy Adams and she was a princess. Then I saw Tangled and I wanted to marry Rapunzel, too.

There is a great misconception as to what is a princess. Allow me to clarify: normally when you hear a girl is a ‘princess’ that means they’ve had everything handed to them, have never worked a real day in their life, and expect perfection and happiness to effortlessly fall into their lap at all times. Nay, friend! That chick in Tangled could paint, play guitar, really cared about people, and was fearless. Similarly the princess in Enchanted was so resourceful that she made a dress out of curtains. Yeah. That’s my kind of girl. She also had no malice in her heart. Hard to find.

Anyway now that I feel like I’ve seen those Disney movies too many times . . . back to the car. This thing freakin rocks. No kidding. I shopped long and hard and for me it’s a perfect match right now. It’s got power, handing, bassy bass from 2 subs under the front seats, great brakes, heated seats (for the ladies), and sex appeal. Yup. Booyah. It’s black on black with aluminum trim. The car is sick. I love it.

So I went for a little joyride the other day and happened upon an icy parking lot. After doing some donuts I was wishing for someone to be around to film me. Then I thought: ‘hey! I can film myself! I’ll just put my camera on that snow bank over there!’ So that’s what I did. Then after watching the videos and clicking on a random artist on Spotify I realized that it would be funny to put some sensual R&B to my sliding car. And here’s the end result:

I hope this video has brought you some joy. 10 points for guessing the song at the beginning.

This post is about the people who have shaped who I am. If I could be more like the following list of wonderful people I would be some kind of all-knowing super hero that shoots lasers out his nose into the sky, illuminating the world and spreading baby unicorns and peace roundabout the land, for the good thereof.

Here they are in order of appearance; besides the last two

Ammon Parker

My older brother has been my hero pretty much since I can remember. He’s never been afraid of anything and is always looking for his next adventure. As kids we were all over the place. We sledded of our roof, mooned innocent bystanders, caught snakes, grasshoppers, and praying mantises. We built countless model airplanes and cars, we blew these models up with illegal fireworks, set stuff on fire, and were never afraid to discharge a firearm whether doing so was a smart or thought-out thing. Home-made silencer. Enough said.

Ammon has always been such a baller. he lead the way on all these adventures and sometimes I felt a little like Chuckie from Rugrats thinking “I don’t think this is such a good idea” but as long as Ammon was there I pretty much felt safe and wasn’t worried.

Teenage years brought a little more gusto to the mix. By this time we had motorcycles that would triple the speed limit. We used to drag race them which was awesome. He then went into the Army to find some more adventure. I didn’t go with this time but I thought it was cool that we were fighting battles simultaneously, I was on a mission and he went to Iraq. While in the Army Ammon ninja threw a huge black guy trying to beat the crap out of him on his birthday, and did a cage fight. A little later he rode a bull. Yup. Here’s the cage fight:

Holy crap that video still gets my adrenaline pumping. He’s the one that wins. Chokes the dude out.

Two days ago Ammon and his wife had their first baby and Tate the Tank was 11lbs 4oz. The doctors said he was pretty strong for a baby and he already thinks he can roll over and hold his head up ha ha.

Hugh Gregson

In the Missionary Training Center Hugh was my branch president, or bishop. He is 6′ 8″ and not small in stature. When I first got into the MTC he said “Your mission has STARTED” and everything changed for me. He finally made being active in the church cool for me. For some reason I never really felt I had met a compelling example of gospel obedience up to that point. People in the church always seemed pretty nerdy or two-faced to me. Hugh was different. He had loads of self-confidence and knew exactly who he was and what he wanted at all times.

Knowing him caused me to re-evaluate what I wanted out of life and make some changes. I decided that I was going to be active in the Church and live what that really meant. I decided to read the scriptures which I had never done with much consistency up to that point. I felt that this was such an important thing that I stayed up till the wee hours of the morning pretty much my entire stay at the MTC reading. I finished the Book of Mormon then read through the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, and the New Testament for the first time. It was great. I really felt like a new man.

Hugh was part of the biggest turning point in my life up to now.

Janie Thompson

Janie is one of the most amazing, talented, hard-working, inspirational, loving, listening, aware people I have ever met. She is simply a wonder. To know that people like her exist really makes me feel better about the planet and life itself. It’s also motivating. I have a whole topic on this blog about her. Here’s how we met. She started BYU’s Young Ambasadors and Lamanite Generation, now known as Living Legends. Early in her life she sang with Tony Bennett and personally knew Mickey Rooney. She also served on the Young Women’s General Board for 16 years.

Seriously one of the coolest people ever. She called me today and it was so great to hear from her, I usually go visit a few times a month. I have so many great memories of Janie since I’ve lived here in Provo and consider her one of my closest friends.

Rosalind Hall

I met sister Hall in January of 2007 when I was fresh off the mission. I saw Men’s Chorus do a dress rehearsal of some Disney songs and it totally rocked. 200 very talented guys rocking it out and having tons of fun. I tried out for the BYU Men’s Chorus. After getting past the graduate student screening it was time to meet my maker, the Welsh-accented lovely sister Hall. I was nervous about auditioning so I had my friend Kip give me a crash course 2 days before. Under “experience” on my application I put “one hour with Kip from Singers” to which she replied “what makes you think you can sing in the Men’s Chorus???” ha ha. I looked her square in the face and said “because I want to”. She said “do the University Chorale (an unauditioned choir class) and come see me in the fall”. That’s exactly what I did. Oh yeah and did I mention I was extremely sick for that first audition? Yes I was.

Men’s Chorus was an amazing experience I wouldn’t trade. I got to hear from her 5 days a week which was like a motivational speaker mixed with an LDS general authority every day. I also got to sing in General Conference in April 2008. Look for the guy on the end with a wicked sun burn from snowboarding. Men’s Chorus totally rocks. Here’s them doing a flash mob. I wasn’t part of this but you get the idea.

Nerd power. Men’s Chorus rocks, if you’ve never been to one of their shows it’s a must.

Mike Zevallos

Winter semester 2007 I was taking a Spanish class and a couple kids came in asking for volunteers to mentor kids. They espcially needed people that spoke Spanish to help out with the kids whose parents spoke Spanish. I was feeling really lucky at the time because I was able to quit a crap telemarketing job because of some financial from my sister. I needed to study extra hard so I could get into the accounting program at BYU. I decided to be a mentor.

I worked with a kid over the summer then got paired up with Mike in September. He was 9 years old and super cute kid. His biological father left when he was 3 and passed away in prison when he was 7 years old. His step father who pretty much raised him had three more children with his mom and they split up when Mike was 8. You wouldn’t know it from getting to know Mike, though. He has always been a very happy, smart, and motivated kid. I feel lucky to know him.

We try to see each other every week and do something fun whether it’s play frisbee, soccer, get Jamba Juice, go to a football/basketball game, or go on an unexpected crazy snow hike. Mike has greatly enriched my life and I’m so grateful for him. He’s the closest thing I have to a son and he has made me look very much forward to having children of my own.

Last and anything but least are my parents, Don and Tish Parker.

They are amazing. I can’t imagine what it would be like to raise 6 children. Three boys, three girls, and we’re all doing great raising our own families or preparing to do so. My mom and dad are super cool. They have certainly allowed me to make my own mistakes and be free but at the same time have given much-needed guidance at the right times. I owe them a ton. They always paid for sports I did as a kid and came to all my games. They paid for me to serve a mission, too, which is something not all parents can do. Since I’ve been at college they always came to my choir concerts and come down here often to do fun stuff or take me out to dinner and buy me groceries and things like that. It’s awesome. Couldn’t ask for better parents in college. It’s kind of nice that they moved up here to Utah from AZ, too. And nice that my dad introduced me to the joy that is late model BMWs, ha ha. Theirs is way cool and they let me drive it a lot when they first bought it. Yea, even to LA where my brother and I left for our super sweet cruise last summer.

I shant leave out my other siblings. My younger brother Eric has been my best friend for a long time now. We share a ton of interests and no one can make me laugh like him. We were in a band together, rode motorcycles together, and have been roomates for the past 3 years. Eric rules. It’s his birthday soon! My sisters rock, too. Emily is fun because we can talk about BYU and music and stuff. She’s brilliant and I love her personality, she funny, too. Ahlena is like Yoda. She’s a great listener and she’s always very interested in what you are doing and what you have to say. If she gives advice it’s always from the heart and is timely and usually needed. My youngest older sister Anna is super cool, too. She owns a dance studio and is always lotsa fun. Her daughters are super funny and I love hanging out with them. I got to go there earlier this year for a trade show, soooooo nice to stay with them and see them instead of staying in some lame hotel. They might be moving out west some time soon which is super exciting!! It will be awesome to have Anna and her family nearby.

In honor of beards everywhere, I give you bearded Jobs:

Today I was looking at old Apple product presentations he gave on Youtube. It was really inspiring. I have a great opportunity with my next move with Parker Planners and getting some inspiration from the Jobs really helped. He’s definitely someone who trusts himself. More so than your average dude. One thing I found very useful in a video about the iPod Nano was that he said you have to start with the human experience and work backward toward the technology. I think his products really do that. Steve said he’s tried it the other way around many times and failed many times; having the scar tissue to prove it.

That’s so awesome. Thinking about people has to be the first step in product development. It’s about how we live, think, feel, observe, and interact with our surroundings. Our lives are improved so much when designers take a second to consider the human experience. I want to be one of those designers.

Here is the original iPod intro video. Mimic this thought process with another product and you’ll make money. After the first 4 sentences it’s clear they know what they’re doing. Bam.

# 1 It brought my Dad and I back from my mission. It was lovingly given to my by my 2nd cousin who lives in Valencia, CA. They drove it to Ventura where the mission home was and we drove it back to Kaysville, UT.

# 2 It was purchased by my great uncle in Cedar City, UT brand new in 1986 and has been owned by family members ever since.

# 3 This is the first car I’ve ever owned and also my first vanity plate: “PLAN IT”. I get a lot of laughs and compliments about that. I figure it’s motvation to succeed with ma business.

# 4 This is also the car I gave my first ride to Janie Thompson in. I can end a sentence with a preposition if I want to. Lotsa memories, lotsa memories.

# 5 The Jetta has prevented me from marrying a gold digger. I go to pick girls up and they have to love me for who I am

# 6 I took it on a 3,000 mile road trip in the summer of 2007 that completely rocked. It was Provo to Phoenix (sister) to LA to Santa Barbara and Santa Maria (mission) to Sacramento, CA (cousin) to Portland (grandparents) to Jerome, ID (mission buddy with many moo tows) to Kaysville, UT (parents). I found out on this trip that a) I’m kind of crazy in a car by myself as evidenced by the crazy videos I took b) the car can do 515 miles on one tank of diesel and c) I ain’t afraid of road trips and doing what I feel would be fun/good.

# 7 Some value other people’s possessions very highly as evidenced by the $2,225 price right now on eBay. It’s still got 1 hr 50 mins at this point. Kelly Blue book is $750.

Here’s the little you tube video I took to help sell it:

On an unrelated note Eric and I went and played some basketball tonight and after getting packed twice by this 6′ 5″ dude I scored on him with a fadeaway jumper. Take that tall dude.

On a car note I have decided what I will buy in the coming months. A BMW 328xi. Yes, folks the B’mer of balance. Fast, reliable, 4 doors, good in snow, bump in stereo, chick magnetism, FREAKING AWESOME. And not too outlandish. If you’ve never driven a late model BMW I assure you of their ability to alter your opinion on whether nice cars are worth it.

Notice the headline- “If you don’t do the things you like, you might as well die.”

Sounds like Dennie Butterfield has experience in both doing what he loves and doing what he hates. The message makes me think of a commencement speech by Steve Jobs at Stanford University given in 2005. Skip to 7:30 when the introduction is done. Jobs’ message is great. His point is that you’re going to die. If you’re going to die, you have no choice but to do what you love if you’re going to be happy.

It’s a cliché phrase but you really don’t want to ‘live someone else’s life”. If you try, you’ll be unhappy. Parents, the market, tradition, friends; no one can know your path but you. Life’s about being bold enough to decide.

I love it when non-college-grads give commencement speeches!! Check the innovative shade device at 12:51.

On a semi-related note my last two trips have had official theme songs. Song of the Trip in New York was Shiver by Coldplay. Don’t know why but this song was stuck in my head the whole trip and it was relevant in some cosmic way.

Not a bad tune. So I just got back from Chicago and Song of the Trip there was Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. It’s a girl artist and it’s a little more on the happy slappy side but whatever. For reasons unknown it was stuck in my head the whole trip so I had to listen to it over and over. The video is a little odd.

In other music news I got a piano!!!!!! AHHHHHH!H!H!HH!H!H Oh man I’m so pumped and I love!! It was roughly 1/2 the price of a new one but works perfectly! Gosh I’ve wanted a piano so bad for so long this is fantastic. Can’t wait to learn how to read music. And yes it’s the same one I posted about a while ago. It’s wonderful and now sits in my office. Mmmmmmmmm. I’m currently writing this blog post on my piano because I’m about to learn some musics from you tube and play them.

Do note that this fills the keyboard requirement in my life and not necessarily my full piano requirement. Though the 88 VERY nicely weighted keys are beautiful to handle, I pine for a Yamaha baby grand and will own one some day. Either that or a Steinway. Whatever works.

Here’s Simon wondering if I’ll find the boat.

Found!!

Go poofy haired guy! He looks like a mix between Christopher Walkin and Zach de la Rocha from Rage Against the Machine.

See

CHECK – Thank my brother for the sweet book
CHECK – Test drive 2011 BMW 335i DOUBLE CHECK. I was rippin’ around a roundabout and the salesman said swear words ha ha ha
CHECK- Get haircut from Molly at Sport Clips
CHECK- Make progress on my wonderful business
CHECK- Eat at a fancy pants restaurant with my parents
CHECK- Hang out with my buddies down here in P-town a.k.a Provo
WORKING ON IT- Buy myself a Piano if I don’t have one by the end of the day Ha!

Love,

Ethan